As the festive season unfolds, a myriad of party opportunities open before us. These opportunities vary wildly in their attraction. Some are raddled old regulars that repeat like an over-spiced curry. Established by this repetition, they consist of the same dramatis personae doing the same things in the same place on the same day at the same time. All that alters from year to year is the amount drunk, the severity of the rows and the grubbiness of the wallpaper.
Others are fresh faced and frankly new fangled; full of that greatest of all party attractions: the collision factor. Society, at whatever level, is a series of overlapping circles. Sometimes these circles are set in stone, as in the example above, but any new opportunity creates a potential swirling movement of new experiences as the circle invited to the new opportunity will all have their own social contacts. Thus, like Alice, one may step through a magic door into a different world of behaviour and experience and, once in motion, continue to do so.
Of course the social range of our lives is bound by circumstances: work or no work, age or no age, family or no family, money or no money. But these circumstances do not constrain absolutely and there are many examples where individuals have sprung or even slid through any social barrier which impeded them. Usually with males the key is money or fame and with females it is fame and looks.
This social mobility was originally curtailed by the ability to travel easily, although from Alexander the Great onwards people were much more mobile than most of us imagine. For example Harold Hardrada, King of Norway, who invaded England in 1066 and was killed at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, had previously been the Captain of the Body Guard at the Imperial Court in Byzantium. Today, unlimited travel and the wide availability of tertiary education have literally created a world market in talent. This is wonderful for serious businesses like accountancy, law and the securities markets but terrifying for those who have an act. Whether telling jokes, singing or conjuring, the huge audiences delivered by global television and the movies force entertainers into producing new material in their acts almost every time they perform. Pre this massive exposure an artist could live a lifetime of relative richness on a handful of ballads, songs and snatches and dreamy lullaby.
As well as those who move through the barriers there are individuals who have led parallel lives without having to go through a Black hole at Warp Factor 9 first. What about Raffles the gentleman jewel thief, the Scarlet Pimpernel, Walter Mitty and John Major? And what about the man with two homes, each with a woman and a dog. Not only were the women similar and the dogs both Jack Russells, their relative names were identical. So whichever house he was in and whether drunk or sober, he wasn't going to make a mistake other than where he had left his underpants.
Talking of underpants, these are the garments that most people are most careful of. Not frightened of, but aware that through accident or chance or even luck they and their state of repair and cleanliness may be seen by strangers. At our new social opportunities the state and style of our underwear may come into play or even foreplay. Because mixing with new people can create new desires in differing time scales and responsibilities. The one night stand is the epitome of human sexual drive or just lust if you want to Tab it. But under certain circumstances and especially at this time of year when parties are wall to wall, the very air of festivity can give the shy and irresolute the courage for a one night stand which converts into a lifetime loving relationship. During the Vendage in Burgundy in early October, the treading of the new grapes releases zest into the air which causes all the wine maturing in casks in the cellars to come alive again. Such is the spirit of the festive season. Having a good time is contagious.
Having a good time is what it is all about and invitations can be misleading. How often have you faced a dreary evening, invited by virtual strangers to a place well off the social map and enticed by such delicacies as 'Tizer and Shepherd's Pie' or 'Madrigals and Sweetmeats'? And how often have you been wonderfully surprised as the brown paper came off and the evening unwrapped to disclose a world of wit and beauty, parts of which seemed to find you attractive?
It is part of the unceasing joy of being alive that life seldom turns out as one expects. Admittedly sometimes the toast falls peanut butter side down but unless loins are girded and battle joined the potential delights that await will be lost forever. Follow the example of my sister, the living amalgam of Patsy and Edina in Ab Fab, who never misses a party in any continent, at any place, at any time. She just falls off the plane into the nearest night club and remains there until the next venue beckons. She has racked up eight separate social occasions on a single Sunday and those do not include Church. She's in touch, she's alive and she's having fun. Who could want more?
Back to the London Mall